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Kids Become What We TELL Them They Will Become (Leader Lesson)

Last weekend I was having a conversation with a 17 year old girl who is about to enter into her freshman year of college.

She was scared, nervous, not super excited, and lacking self-esteem and confidence.

I asked her how she was feeling about college.

She replied, “Nervous. I feel very unmotivated right now. I don’t know why. But I feel a little lost.”

Like most teens who are climbing towards their upper teen years, she was asking the question, “Who am I? Why do I matter? What is my worth? What am I GOOD at? Will I succeed?”

You know what she needed?

She needed voice of authority, an adult, a coach...really ANYONE to tell her that she mattered. That she was worthy. That she had tremendous potential.

I think that is the simple voice more kids are seeking, craving to hear. That we as coaches believe in them. That they have the potential to be GREAT.

We don’t do it often enough. We think we do because we THINK about it and believe it to be true, but we do not tell them we believe in them face to face enough. Have you ever gotten tired of someone telling you that they believe in you, that you CAN do it. That you are GREAT?

So I said to her…”You know what, Amy?”

“What?” she asked.

“You are going to be an incredible leader someday. Someday, you are going to be a person that helps a lot of people. You are going to be admired and looked up to by a lot of people. You know how I know that?” I asked.


“Because you are thoughtful. You care about people. And because leadership is a skill. You will learn it. And I will tell you right now, you ARE going to be a great leader. The cool thing is you can start TODAY”, I said.

“How do I do that?”

Finally, after I let her come up with some solutions I said to her, “You make a decision. You decide today that you are going to focus more on helping others get what they want and less about getting what you want. You work hard on becoming the best version of you that you can become. Everyday. Can you do that?”

“Yes. I can do that.” she said with a smile on her face.

Fast forward 3 hours and as she was getting ready to leave she stopped and said to me, “Thank you for that. I feel more motivated right now than I ever have before. I’m motivated and excited for college now. I’m going to learn how to be a leader.”

My jaw about hit the floor. It always does in those situations. I was reminded in that moment of just how EASY it is to inspire someone to believe in his or herself. How YOU can change someone’s day, and possibly the trajectory of their entire LIFE just but saying to them, “You have leadership abilities. You have the potential to be great. I believe in you.”

Dedicated to our youth’s success,

Coach Andrew

P.S. In our 12 Week Athletic Development Program at PFP, we focus on building athlete's confidence, their BELIEF in themselves. If you want this for your athlete, reply and let us know. We are accepting new athletes who are hungry to strengthen their mindset, improve confidence, and perform better.

Andrew Simpson

Chief Vision Officer
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