This came directly from a mom who has been with the PFP Family for years...
"I finally threw my hands up and told my daughter that I was done caring about her success more than she did.
I stopped looking at her grades and telling her over and over again to get her assignments in on time.
I stopped trying to motivate (manipulate) her to go out and practice her skills by telling her that 'if she wants to get to the next level, her current actions won't cut it.'
One day my daughter looked at me and said, 'Mom did you see there is a tournament coming up? Did you register me?'
Nope, sure didn't."
From that moment on, something clicked for this girl. She realized that if it "was to be, it's up to me".
Mom was clear with her, "I believe in you and I will support you 100%. But you are going to take the initiative from now on."
And mom's actions spoke louder than her words.
I'm not saying this is a perfect formula for every situation, but some of us know that we would be wise to take bits and pieces of this and apply it to our approach.
- It's natural to want the best for your kids, even more than they do, but it is not sustainable nor is it effective long term
- It's one thing to say you are going to surrender the outcome and give up control, it is another to do it
- There was zero potential downside to mom's approach above, zero (especially since she did continue to communicate her love and belief in her daughter).
- The lesson the daughter learned in this will make her a peaceful, loving, patient, faith-filled mother some day
Keep playing the long game, mom and dad.
Consider the end goal that you have for your children and simply ask (God, your spouse, your child, other parents), "Is there anything I should stop doing? Anything I should start doing differently?"
Reflect, seek counsel, and take action. You are amazing. Remember, your only unique role in life is the one you have in your family- you are replaceable in every other role- but not this one 👊
Dedicated to your child's joy and success,
P.S. This past Monday we had our first Peak Performance Mindset Workshop. 10 student-athletes became equipped in a way that few athletes are nowadays. Here are the details and Early Bird Registration for the Next One in October:
Next Month's Peak Performance Mindset Workshop Details:
Date: Tuesday October 18th 6:30 PM
Topic: Going Deeper on Visualization and Empowering Yourself With Self-Talk
- Your athlete will learn how to use mental recall/mental rehearsal to prep for competition
- Your athlete will learn a brand new way to recover from mistakes
- Your athlete will continue to separate themselves by learning about the mental game- consistency is KING
Link to Register for Early Bird Rate: Sign up now for early bird rate and to lock in your spot