The constant need to compare our every action, inaction, accomplishment, failure, possession, or lack thereof is crushing our emotional fitness.
For every one step forward we take in feeling good about where we are and where things are going, we take at least one step back when we compare it to someone else. Someone needs to hear this today...
How on earth do we beat this thing called The Comparison Trap? It is more like a seemingly indomitable, invisible force that causes us to feel bad even when things are good.
Even the ones who acknowledge that they are subject to the gripping, debilitating power of comparison seem to fall victim to it every once in a while. I’ll share some of mine in a moment and then give you the solutions.
Here are a couple of questions to get this party going:
My friend group
My athleticism, my height, my muscles, my sports performance
My spouse and how kind/loving/patient he or she is not compared to his or hers
My likability, charisma, character
My knowledge, intelligence
My possessions- house, car, clothes, things
Hopefully you were brutally honest. Next up:
I’ve talked to a lot of athletes and adults who lied to me when I asked them what comparison did to them. “It just motivates me to get better.”
While that may be true, it is still causing you to be discontent and to strive after something that you may not need, truly want, or even be able to get. Yikes, that will leave you even more frustrated and discontented.
Don’t lie to yourself, is your discontentment with where you are and what you have the typical feeling that results from your comparisons?
Here is where the rubber meets the road.
To be honest with you, I often find myself discontent with where our business and finances are. I have felt discontent at times with how successful The Youth Truth book has been this year during its launch.
And you know what? The discontentment is ALWAYS because of one of two things:
1st: my subconscious comparison to, in this case, someone else’s business, someone else’s income, someone else’s book launch. I don’t choose to compare, it just happens.
2nd: Time, skill, or lack of hard work and/or self-discipline
Lack of hard work/discipline: I jumped to other things impulsively rather than sticking with something. Probably because I was comparing, feeling discontent, did not like that feeling, and therefore jumped ship.
Is any of this stuff making sense? Can you see the areas of your child’s life where this is taking him or her hostage? Can you see it in your own life?
We all do it, but few overcome it. Here is how I defeat it daily.
“I have learned to be content in all circumstances.”
Today was a longer note than usual but it is one that is pertinent today and every day. Rise up and do your best today. As my friend Alex says, there is strength in service. Commit your works to those you love most.
Coach Andrew Simpson