This article is a bit scary. It’s deep. It’s uncomfortable. It’s necessary.
At the end of the day, I know that you the parent care more about these 5 things than you care about performance:
Your child going down a bad path.
Your child being unhappy. Losing joy and love for what they do (sport, school, life)
Your child being unsuccessful in things they want to have success in.
Your child being a follower. Not becoming the leader that is within them.
Your child closing themselves off to people around them.
I can’t stand by any longer and watch kids struggle and not become the best they can be because they refuse to open up and share vulnerably and authentically.
Technology and social media have started this, but lack of education and leading by example as youth influencers has exacerbated it.
Had a bad game? SILENT.
School is going terrible? SILENT.
Coach is being difficult? SILENT.
Lacking self-esteem because EVERYONE else seems to be exceling and you feel like you are making zero progress? SILENT.
Relationship problems with friends, girlfriend, or boyfriend? SILENT.
Silence has become the Chief Stealer of joy, progress, and potential.
Over the past few weeks we have talked about how to get OUT of your head and INTO the zone. Sure, sharing openly and vulnerably WILL help you be in the zone more and play better.
But the benefit on the sports field means little to nothing in comparison to the LIFE benefit.
What leads to low confidence, sports anxiety, regular anxiety, depression, and lack of self-belief?
BAD HABITS. One of those bad habits is INTERNALIZING.
BAD HABIT #1: INTERNALIZING
*Refusing to share your thoughts and feelings
*Refusing to talk about your results/performance on AND off the field
*Avoiding confrontation and difficult conversations
Unwillingness to EXPRESS yourself leads to UNHAPPINESS.
So what do I do as a student-athlete?
1)Talk to at least ONE person and share with them the CONCEPT of Internalizing and how it negatively affects your Mind, Mood, and Performance. Why? Because it could really help THEM, and by teaching it is will undoubtedly help you.
2)Create a DAILY ALARM in your phone that says: “Express myself openly and courageously.” We all need reminders in today’s world.
3) When you feel like sharing the LEAST, share. It’s during the times we feel like doing something the least that is benefits us the most. To FEEL more confident and courageous, do things that lead to your being more confident and courageous: i.e. sharing openly.
That is all for today. Please join our Sports Parent Locker Room on Facebook to be part of a community of people striving for more confident, successful student-athlete leaders in sport and life.
Dedicated to your athlete’s joy and success,
Coach Andrew and the PFP Team